Chapter the First: the Challenge

So, it's about 3am, and I'm bitching to my oldest daughter --only daughter-- that I'm sooo bored; I can have anything I want except my big brother, and he's too busy with our littlest sister to pay me any more mind. So, Mollie says to me,

"You can have Kurt Harland?"

Of course, being a victim of McFly syndrome, I says to her,

"Of course i can! are you mad? i said anything didn't i?"

"You're on!" she says.

"We're toast!" my brain insists.
 

Chapter the Second: the Hack

So six hours of good hack later, I've acquired a questionable phone number, an invalid email address and a zip code for Kurt...twelve hours later, I have almost enough data to acquire a copy of his birth certificate, which if mine is a standard example, probably contains his SSN which I can send to the DMV to acquire his driving record, which contains a snailmail address.

 Post acquisition of his address, I put a small card in the mail (no return address!) which contains the first 65 digits of pi, which I have commited to memory, and the line: 'kohii with your pi? I'll call you.' It is unsigned. A week later i make my move...

 "Hello. kurt?"
 "Yes..."
 "So how about some coffee with your pi?"
 "Some what with my where?...Oh! You! You're the mysterious stranger with the multiple digits and the bad Japanese!"
 "Bloody right I am. Do you have any idea how much of a pain in my ass it was to get ahold of you?"
 "Erm...I'm sure. Say, do you roller skate?"
 "Yeah...and I like frozen m&m's and ice water, too."
 "Neet! You should come over and we can skate to a coffeeshop!"
"Uhm...Sure...You should pick me up at the airport in the morning."
 "Airport? Where are you from?!"
 "...Albuquerque..."
 "Wow! You want to _fly_ out to SF to have coffee with me?"

...from whence the conversation degenerates into logistics...
 

Chapter the Third: a Cuddly Conclusion

 The scene is now San Francisco, where the geekly duo have been wreaking havoc in the streets on their skates while acquiring and consuming mass quantities of caffeine and chocolate. It is late eve at Kurt's door...
 "Wow!"(says me)"I haven't had that much fun in a long time!" 

"Uh-oh!"(says he)"It's really late and we never got you checked into a hotel! At this hour in tourist season...(he shrugs)Heck with it! Why don't you crash here?"
 Many hours pass and the fearsome freaks have settled into 'Mad Max'. We are curled up on the couch, throwing as much popcorn at each other as we've eaten and shouting at the screen. I grin suddenly and think 'So, this is how it feels to be free...'

It's every word of it true, and that's the Pooka truth...