<p><b>Cake</b></p><p>Mix dry ingredients first, except chocolate chips. Add wet
ingredients and mix until smooth. You should have a runny batter. Grease
a baking tin – an average bread pan will be more than large enough for
this. It’s a tiny cake. Pour in half of batter, sprinkle half of
chocolate chips. Repeat with other halves. (This should keep all the
chips from SINKING TO THE BOTTOM.) Preheat the oven to 350F/180C and
bake for ~30m, until a toothpick stuck in it comes out clean.</p><p><b>Frosting</b></p><p>Soften the butter by leaving it out for a couple of hours. Smoosh it
up in a straight-sided bowl that’ll hold at least 2c. Add the shortening
and blend until you have a smooth, single-coloured mass. Blend in the
cocoa powder and vanilla extract. Add the sugar a little at a time,
blending it in until you can’t see it. Add the cream 1T at time,
blending it in until you have a smooth, thick chocolate gunk. If it’s
too thin to work with, toss it in the fridge for a few minutes, to
stiffen it up a bit. Unlike a true buttercream, a stabilised frosting
will not get SOLID if you leave it in the fridge, so don’t worry about
that. It might get a little too stiff to work with, but a couple of
minutes on the counter will loosen it up again.</p>Cool cake for a while, in the fridge, and then smear frosting on it and dot with the decorative topping of your choice.